my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
