We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
