I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
