My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
