My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
