I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
