Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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