is your mom at the bar?
two words: eviction party
im calling her cock vulture from now on
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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