I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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