I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
