another moral hangover. fuck.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
