On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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