did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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