just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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