If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
