I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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