Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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