Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
