Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
