I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
