I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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