This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
