is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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