oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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