yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
