i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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