Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
