You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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