it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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