College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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