how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
