we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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