Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
