i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
