just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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