i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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