Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
