Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
