Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
