East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
