yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
