Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
