when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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