he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
