nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
