Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
