Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
