I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
