suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
