evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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