kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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